Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Eating, and a continuation of the story

Jordan went off to do his math, and left his laptop unattended, so I thought I would add the next part of my unraveling story of doom, or maybe just the story of my life...

Actually, I think I'll break from that pattern once more, and touch on a topic that has me in knots as I write, this is... of course, the subject of my eating habits. I must warn the reader, the following segment is not dinner table worthy (kind of like me;-)

I DON'T like dog food, at all, period. End of discussion. I think its nasty, it tastes bad, it's hard to chew, it doesn't smell good on ones breath (when trying to meet new dogs), it makes me gurgle in my tummy, and generally puts me in a sour mood. Imagining a human eating such kibble would be unthinkable! And thus is completely and utterly unsuitable for me.

However, I must eat to live, and thus am resigned to soup bones (kind of like eating ice cream thats dribbling down a dumster), human food (much better), dog food (already touched on this one), or... if the season is right, a little delicacy called bovine pie. Yes, i'm talking about cow pies.

Can I help it if the good Lord made my sensitive taste buds to relish this creamy treat! It smells great, tastes great, and works a lot like hair gel... which keeps my ruff out of my face. I love the stuff, and my family hates it. They always threaten me with baths, and won't let me on the couch, or keep me out in the cold! Depressing... thats what it is.

Well, enough of that... Let me get back to my life, since that is the main reason I am using this laptop. Here comes a short addition:

The first night at home was very hard. My mother was a gazillion miles away, my sister was off with some other family, the cage they had me in was uncomfortable, and I pooped inside of it like tomorrow was a forgone conclusion. I probably ended up barking all night, which made Jonathan irritated. Chills come running up and down my spine when I relive those moments. Fortunately, the next day came, with a ray of bright sunshine, and a promise of another shot at this new family. It was I who must be convinced, not the other way around.

It was Saturday, Mom and Dad (I met Dad the night before... he has a mustache, and is really tall) left for something, and I was home alone with Jonathan, Jordan, and Justin watching over me like I was some sort of meal they were going to devour... actually, they kept up with annoying squeals and cooing, which really got annoying after a while.

Later on that day, Jonathan brought out this long rope, with a metal thingy at the end of it, which he attached to another shorter rope, which he proceeded to wrap around my neck! I was outraged that he would treat me like an animal, and made the entire process very difficult I am sure (its hard to remember). He took me outside, and started pulling me along with this rope (which I found out is called a leash) as if I was really going to follow with earnest. No one was going to treat me this way, and promptly planted my rear end on the gravel, and let him drag me for about a 1/4 of a mile. My butt was very sore after that!

For the love of Saint Bernard! Jonathan is playing guitar with this loud amplifier thing, and it hurts my ears... have to write later. Besides, I'm hungry for you know what.

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